Hiraeth (pronounced [hiraɪ̯θ])

    AUTHOR: kerk hiraeth

    FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (FemaleHusband!verse)

    CHARACTER(s): Faith Lehane;

    'SHIP: none;

   LENGTH: 350;

   RATING: R;

   A/N: After two years away Faith has been called back to Slayer HQ; established near the City of Trillium which, though close to a hellmouth, only marks the epicentre of a fiery series of hot spots; most dangerous of which is in Cleveland, but with fiery siblings near Pittsburgh and Philadelphia.

           Irrelevant to this story is that Faith had already made the decision to return, but only Buffy and Giles know this. Also irrelevant to this story, but important to the series is why they called Faith back; hopefully it won't be too long before I write that story.

          This 'verse originates from the non-canon death of Willow in Season Six. 

ADDENDUM: I decided this was a good fit for the Halfamoon 2025 Day 3 prompt, Self-care. 

      By the time she brought her battered old Indian to a rolling halt outside the gatehouse Faith could see it was well past midnight.

    After staring down the Slayer in charge, she ignored the instructions she was given, and headed round by the old path next to where the hayfields had been.

    More than fifty hours on the road; she needed food, not fucking orders.

    Travelling at a purring lope she could see some kids under the lights having a catcher vs. umpire dispute as she took in the changes to the structures and layout in the two years she'd been gone.

    Growling at herself, she was still impressed as she dismounted out front of where the inner courtyard stables had been. She took in some kids playing a board game; one hurriedly hiding a plastic bag.

    Somebody had painted 'The Feading Room' in rainbow colours over the entrance; they'd used it to store crates of books while they repaired the main house, which set Faith to smirking that her snarky joke would be remembered by kids she'd never met she headed straight for the main cafeteria.

    Five minutes later she sat down; tray laden with baked potatoes; pasta; pierogi and chocolate cake.

    And confiscated beer.

    She recognised some of the faces staring at her as she fed her face.

    Grabbing up the last of the pierogi and polished off another beer; watched by the kid she's snagged them from. Grinning at her Faith stood up and chugged the last beer.

    Buffy and her Band of Bureaucrats could wait.

    Not needing to ask directions; she could see the floor plan Buffy's kid sister had drawn in her head, she grabbed some more Japanese sodas, heading straight for the only room in the building with a bed and a private shower.

    Odds on a fuck were low and she needed a shower and a bunk down more than a fuck anyhow.

    As she fell asleep she was thinking how to hammer these kids into some kind of shape; almost as if she'd come home.

    She kinda liked feeling warm as well.

     May the Goddess watch over you and those you love,

     kerk hiraeth  

   TITLE: Sports Report

   AUTHOR: kerk hiraeth

   FANDOM: Buffy the Vampier Slayer (Jet Wolf's Chosen'verse);

   CHARACTER(s): Faith Lehane; Buffy Summers; *oc; Sam & Riley Finn; Capt. Ben Sisko;

   'SHIP(s): None (Finn's*);

   LENGTH: 1,600;

   RATING: PG-13;

   A/N: This mostly from Faith's POV, with the unnamed Slayer being the little girl seen becoming a Slayer the Series Finale (we do not acknowledge the comics as canon) so, depending on how you age her; this being set on her twentieth birthday, the year in which this is set can be calculated from that.

          This is set in one of my versions of Jet Wolf's Chosen continuation (which one I have yet to make clear to myself, so I have left that vague).

         Hers is, or was, for me the only continuation that truly captured what I felt about the show. Sadly, though she completed an Eighth season, that continuation ended part way through a ninth season and it seems as if she has disappeared from the fandom for good as her various wonderful Buffy stories, on her own sites, have begun to to disappear (I have yet to have the courage to find out if any are archived; being left with the printed & personally archived versions.

       She was one of a handful of fan writers who competed with and, in many cases, bettered what was produced on the show itself.

*Characters/Ships marked thus are only mentioned and may be regarded as uncredited.

     Keeping a tight hold of the reports vital to the mission, Faith wandered down to the quiet clearing in the, now extensive, wooded land at what was the most down hill of the land that constituted the Headquarters of the International Network of Slayers; Watchers and Mystics had a major presence, but their headquarters were on separate continents.

   Trillium; located at the centre of a triangle of hellmouths, with Cleveland being the one most closely watched; only one with it's separate Slayer Command Centre would always be the HQ, no matter where operational HQ was located.

   It was operating as Operations Command for the moment, simply because Buffy was in situ; as were others in close touch with Faith who was the Slayer; though Buffy was The Slayer. She recalled getting drunk the first time she realised she had noticed the difference in one of her own reports to the Council Afrchives.

   Today was much more important.

   Approaching the end of the path; now shaded by as many trees as Faith had seen before she had become the Slayer, she began to slow; unconsciously allowing the grief control her pace. She felt her hand touch her jacket pocket; hard leather covered object strapped against her hip.

   Then she spied the Sapling; still called that, and always capitalized, even though it had children all over the world now; even one at a, mostly, secret base on Antarctica.

   Stepping into the clearing she pulled the object from its harness; removed the flask from its leather cover and took a sip of the Rum within.

   Five months since the kid; always a kid to her, had been killed protecting two of her charges and Faith still needed to take a drink whenever she had to deal with that.

   The flask had been a gift from her mother; handed to her at the memorial she wished she could forget.

   No body. No funeral.

   Her mom bore no malice; proud of the woman she had become, and as proud as Faith of the warrior she had become.

   Faith still could hardly bear to think of the tiny, fiercely determined, child she had picked up when she had arrived in Florida all those years ago.
   The child had become an adult before her eyes; graduated with honors, from three of the world's finest Universities, as well as being made an honorary member of the Baseball Hall of Fame; never to have the chance to play the sport she loved professionally. Faith recalled the day that baby had come screaming with joy at the Rockford Peaches replica uniform some movie star had sent her.

   Faith had still not cleared her room; would not allow anyone to do it.

   Not yet.

   She couldn't.

   She took another sip from the flask as she recalled the drunken tirade she had hit 'B' with when she had discovered the age of the child she had to train.

   Watchers, every one from the dawn of time, were the target, but the blows; five of them, rained on Buffy's face, which no hands were raised to protect, until her inebriation had resulted in a glancing blow to the side of 'B's head and Faith going ass over tit into the swimming pool; from which Faith had to be rescued, the younger Slayers had built ~ almost with their bare hands ~ in world record time.

   Sometimes; even today, she still wanted to knock 'B' onto her backside.
   Mostly now it was because 'B' would tap the side of her head and complain about bells in a bad Charles Laughton voice.

   Five months since she had died; five months that seemed to have changed Faith beyond her own recognition, even more than the years since this place has been set up and she had returned to take a full role in it's operation had done.

   It would have been her twentieth birthday; no cruciamentum nowadays, this would have been the day she would have discovered she been promoted to an operational command; officially made a full Slayer, with a place on the Council and command over a small army of Slayers; Watchers; Mystics and a larger force of ancilliary personnel.

   Faith had put her on the list of candidates for that post when she had turned eighteen.

   Even though no one under twenty five was usually considered for a command like that these days, Faith was one of the few who could make a recommendation like that, and she had not hesitated.

   Gratefully she had handed over the decision on that post to Buffy; unable to bear naming a replacement; only one besides Giles; Willow; Kenn... and... 

   It would never happen.

   She took another sip and knelt down in front of the Sapling; dropping the flask on the ground.

   Buffy told her who the replacement would be; More than forty months older than she would have been, the replacement had been one of Faith's charges too; same squad as a matter of fact.

   She had taken two years out to become a mother, but had kept up her training; actually considered becoming a Watcher, but accepted Buffy's request ~ after some intense discussions with her partner ~ which 'B' had told her about less than half an hour before.

   'B' had offered Faith the opportunity to inform her, but Faith had politely, but forcefully, declined.
   Buffy had smiled and handed her the folder she was now leafing through.

   It was full of important reports; for this mission, from every command in the world even, she noted, the Finns - wherever they were in Central America - had sent reports.
   She smiled at the different styles of the recs; especially the shade that Sam aimed her way and the detailed stats of the different operations teams in their 'league' ~ which had never yet completed a season.

   Even 'Sailor Boy' Sisko had sent a report up from Baton Rouge; complete with a set of Navy Knickers for her.

   *note to self. Whup him upside the head next time you see him, Lehane.

   As Faith recalled the pride in the pictures all three had sent her when she got her latest medal from the Secretary of the Navy, she could still hear the excited little girl waving the Peaches uniform; leaping about Faith's office as if she'd just just had her cheek kissed by some teen pop star crush.

   Faith wiped dust from her eyes, and had another sip from the flask.

   Leafing through the reports trying to decide which one to start with, she suddenly lay them on top of the flask; making a sudden decision.

   Hesitating for a few moments, Faith took a heavy breath and...

   A red crested bird, several thousand kilometres from where it should have been, suddenly dropped on top of the papers; stared up at her, and hopped over to one of the water vessels filled several times a day by all the personnel at HQ, it was needed.

   Nobody came here without water.

   Except for her.

   Today.

   Faith couldn't recall ever hearing of a bird using that one.

   She watched it as it drank; occasionally lifting it's head.

   Was the wee bastard glaring at her?

   The creature hopped back on top of the papers again; cocking its head as if it was waiting for Faith to start.

   Faith felt her breath leaving her for a second.

   She couldn't take another sip; not in front of...

   Get a hold of yourself, Lehane. It's a bird.

   Just a bird.

   Her favorite bird.

   Faith managed to glare back at the creature before she gathered her senses and began speaking.

   “Thought you'd enjoy getting it from me, but the Red Sox got swept by the Marlins; means they secured at least a wildcard. Red Sox need to win at least five of their remaining games to get one.

    Kid sister got a sports scholarship to Notre Dame, but has decided to go to Smith College instead. I quote, 'can't play professional, so I might as well work on my noggin instead.' I will be having a word with her watcher about the words she's teaching her pupils.

    Oughta let you know one of your old squad will be taking on the command I had you greenlit for before you got slack and let your ass get kicked.

   The two slayers you saved returned to full duty last week and want me to pass on their thanks.

   Your mother donated the money we sent her to a dozen public schools in your city, and the neighbouring counties. 

   Don't tell her but we tripled it. 

   Billie passed her exams and will be refereeing in Professional Soccer leagues in Scotland. She asked me to tell you she misses you; her wife passed on her thanks too for convincing Billie that not being an active Slayer was the best choice. She's still on the reserve, but you were right and I think it's obvious she's better suited to be a tutor and watcher in the future. You got the better of me on that one too.

   Last thing. I bought your family World Series tickets; all seven games, assuming the Marlins make it that far. One seat to be left empty, or given to someone else. 

   Be wanting the cash if they don't,

   If the Red Sox make it I'll expect nothing less than a barrel of Blood Wine and a lifetime's supply of Fenway Dogs.

   Right, I've got a lot of these mission reports to get through; so I'd better crack on. “

   *note to self, stop listening to that bloody watcher's verbal reports, Lehane.

   “Since the one replacing you is from there; I'll start with Taslima's. She's home in Dhaka and it's all bloody Cricket of course! She's all about their youth team winning their group at the world cup; apparently she's expecting them... “

   The tiny bird, having needed refreshment, had left when she had mentioned money; returned when she got on to the subject of food. It began to sing a bit when she mentioned Taslima, and made her smile when it seemed to nod excitedly.

   Sun shining through the treeline, she appreciated it's warmth even more.

   Faith grinned, zipped up her jacket and tilted her head in appreciation before continuing. 

   Sharp eye on her, she sat straight and behaved. 

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KV9Mo_b1C1s

     Footage of the Bangladesh Women winning the 2018 T20 World Cup



      May the Goddess watch over you and those you love 

      kerk

  AUTHOR: kerk_hiraeth

  FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (FemaleHusband!verse)

  CHARACTERS: Faith Lehane; Tara Maclay; Buffy Summers;

  'SHIP(s): Faith/Tara; Buffy/Angel;

  LENGTH: 200; 

  RATING: R (for strong language); 

  A/N: Set in the FemaleHusband!verse (centred around a Faith/Tara relationship); this may be the start of a new series within that 'verse.

         The idea for this began in another fandom altogether; another poet too. My mind was on a Korean web series called She Makes My Heart Flutter released in November; also on the characters of Yun Sol & Seo Ji-wan and their friends Yu Na-bi & Oh Bit-na, from another Korean series, Nevertheless.

        Most of the story in the former takes place in a bar named after Emily Dickinson, but the original thought; which will likely inspire stories, evolved into stories inspired by Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnets from the Portuguese.

       There's always been the thought behind this 'verse that; even though Faith & Tara become lovers; then a couple, that Faith does not see herself as a lesbian; neither does Tara. I've always wanted to explore that idea and now; finally, that may be coming to pass. Only time will tell on that, but both the title of this story, and the overall title of the series; should that happen, come from the first of the sonnets ~ a copy of which Angel gave Buffy as a gift in Helpless.

     Faith often wondered why, after she and Tara had become lovers; not friends or guarded and guard bitch, she still got creamy over dick.

  For fuck's sake; she'd teased 'B' enough times!

  But always ~ Always! ~ she'd needed to go out and fuck some piece of ass until he was barely able to function.

  She even thought of dick when she and Tara were fucking.

  Even now her brain would flood over some dick she'd fucked back in the day.

  Back in the day...

  She'd been barely a kid herself; fucking with girls to get some dick hard.

  And Tara was all woman.

  All woman.

  Stamina she had too; strapping Faith, a Slayer, until she herself could barely function.

  And what Tara could do with her...

  Fucking witchcraft was what it was.

  And yet.

  And yet...

  She never got wet over other women.

  Not even 'B' got her creaming.

  She never used toys.

  Always the real thing.

  Only what was the real thing anyway?

  She wasn't sure anymore, but still got wet over dick; not pussy.

  Something 'B' had said came to mind.

   'Guess now who holds thee?

    Death, I said.

    But then the silver answer rang,

     Not Death, but Love.'

   from Sonnets from the Portuguese (1845-6)

    by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

     one

   I thought once how Theocritus had sung

   Of the sweet years, the dear and wished-for years,

   Who each one in a gracious hand appears

   To bear a gift for mortals, old or young;

   And, as I mused it in his antique tongue,

   I saw, in gradual vision through my tears,

   The sweet, sad years, the melancholy years,

   Those of my own life, who by turns had flung

   A shadow across me. Straightway I was 'ware,

  So weeping, how a mystic Shape did move

  Behind me, and drew me backward by the hair,

  And a voice said in mastery while I strove,

  Guess now who holds thee? - Death I said. But, there

  The silver answer rang: Not Death, but Love.

   May the Goddess watch over you, and those you love, 

   kerk hiraeth 

   TITLE: ''Oops, I did it again...''

   AUTHOR: kerk_hiraeth

   FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (post-series; btvs-Chosen!verse);

   LENGTH: 100;

   CHARACTER(s): Faith Lehane; Andrew Wells;

   'SHIP(s): none;

   RATING: PG;

   SUMMARY: Never leave your snacks unattended when the Dark Slayer is around.

   A/N: Wanted to see how fast I could do one of these; this is from the most recent dailyprompt for January 1^st ~ “oops”. Not sure I can get it posted before midnight, but gonna try. This Faith, and this Andrew belong in the comtinuation; unlikely now to be continued, that matters more to me than any other that followed the end of the TV show, certainly more than the 'official' one(s). This is set in the fictional burgh of Trillium; situated at the centre of a triangle, part of which is that hellmouth in Cleveland. The continuation, called by it's creator, Jet Wolf, The Chosen captured everything about the show that I loved and gave me a new set of characters to love. 

     The Dweeb was turning a delightful fruity shade of purple.

   Appropriate, she thought.

   Brain trying furiously to counter her outrageous suggestion about Chewbacca; he was also desperately attempting to avoid mainlining pure fridge fresh soda.

   Waiting until he'd turned away to snort all over the carpet; she swiftly shook something over his pizza.

   Deadpan, she stared at the movie; watching him glare at her from the corner of her eye; deciding he needed to clarify his response he risked biting into a slice of his pizza.

   Seconds later; his mouth on fire, she said innocently.

   “You don't like Jalapeño then?”

     kerk hiraeth 

   In readying The Dance of the Happy Little Toaster https://archiveofourown.org/works/21695866 for inclusion on A03 I have been reminded of other stories that are connected to that one scene; Willow telling Tara she is with the one she loves, and Tara blowing out the candle. I wanted to put all those stories in one post as they will be included, or linked to other series/verses eventually and I really wanted to have them together in one post.

 Latterly I will also post them separately, but this will serve as a small collected post for the extra fics. The dreamwidth post is here https://kerk-hiraeth.dreamwidth.org/3690.html for The Dance of the Happy Little Toaster. It should be noted that in all my depictions Willow is bisexual; Tara lesbian. Not that that matters as such; since I haven't yet found a way of exploring that.

   This is a trio of drabbles; re-edited, but originally written for the open_on_sunday prompt, (un)dress back in 2014. They all come under the theme of first times and are set in reverse order of occurrence. The first is firmly set in my femalehusband!verse; the second, while after the conclusion of 'New Moon Rising' is also; per my head canon also set in that 'verse; this is also true of the third which is pre-series for Tara's arrival on Buffy.

   TITLE: Eagles on the Wind

   AUTHOR: kerk_hiraeth

   FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (post-series; femalehusband!verse);

   LENGTH: 100;

   CHARACTER(s): Faith Lehane; Tara Maclay;

   'SHIP(s): Faith/Tara;

   RATING: PG-13;

   SUMMARY: On their wedding night, Faith experiences Tara's true magic for the first time.

   A/N: Both characters are in their thirties when this occurs; in a 'verse that diverges from canon in S6.

     “Aren't we gonna screw?”

   Tara tutted at Faith; slowly undoing the buttons on her new wife's dress.

   “Didn't I promise you a special gift?”

   “Yeah, but...”

   Surrendering with a sigh, Faith began assisting in her disrobement; unable to hide her confusion. After all she'd walked in to find her Tara nude on the bed; dress and underwear strewn across the room.

   Hard not to make assumptions really; though she should have considered Tara's wicked sense of humor.

   Both naked they kissed.

   Tara put a halt to anything more; well tried anyway.

   Minutes later they were flying; Eagles on the wind.

   TITLE: Gentle as a Desert Spring

   AUTHOR: kerk_hiraeth

   FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer S4 (post-New Moon Rising);

   LENGTH: 100;

   CHARACTER(s): Tara Maclay; Willow Rosenberg;

   SHIP(s): Willow/Tara (willtara);

   RATING: PG-13;

   SUMMARY: Tara's pov on the moments after she blew out the candle at the conclusion of 'New Moon Rising'.

   A/N: Tara's journey; following on from the drabble below, toward the future seen in the one above; taken as a snapshot of her first night, as a lover, with Willow.

     It was Tara that broke their kiss; before Willow fainted.

   She could tell Willow wasn't entirely happy about that, but she wanted this to be good; better than good.

   Plenty of time for the ripping of bodices.

   This was Willow's first time; with a girl anyway.

   Gently was what Tara wanted; as hers had been.

   Her first with a woman anyway.

   “Tara...”

   Softly praying to the Goddess, Tara leant in to kiss Willow gently on the lips.

   “Now,” she whispered, with a mischievous smile, “let's slip out of something more uncomfortable.”

   She delighted as Willow blushed; redder than her hair.

   TITLE: The First Time

   AUTHOR: kerk_hiraeth

   FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (circa S3);

   LENGTH: 100;

   CHARACTER(s): Tara Maclay; OC, ( Jan(an) al-Bukhari);

   'SHIP(s): Tara/oc / Tara/Jan(an);

   RATING: PG-13;

   SUMMARY: What was Tara's first time like?

   A/N: This is set on Tara's eighteenth birthday; two years prior to the conclusion of 'Family'. Tara's Girlfriend here is approximately five years her senior and will appear in other 'verses over time. She is Arab-American; her parents arriving as refugees when she was still a baby.
 

     “Tara... come here,”

   Less than five hours eighteen Tara; having known only fear; pain and tears, found the feelings she'd had toward girls; all her life, were very real.

   “Janan... I don't know what...”

   Not born from previous torment.

   Betrayed by her nervousness; still coming back from their lovemaking; uncertain in these unnavigated waters, her Girlfriend's voice gave her a compass.

   “Jan, please. I...”

   The Arab girl responded eagerly to the sudden; decisive, kiss from Tara; newly certain of who she was; what she wanted.

   “I want to use your name as often as I can...

   I love your name. “

   Oo-kay, so this is probably the single scariest fic I have written to date depicting, as it does, a sexual encounter between two women to fill a prompt requested by a bona fide lesbian. Not the first lesbian scene I'd written; but this was for someone. The original is from 2015, and is set a while after the one above written in 2014 for open_on_sunday; The Dance of the Happy Little Toaster is set the following morning.

   TITLE: Cresting the Wave

   AUTHOR: kerk_hiraeth

   FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer S4;

   LENGTH: 100;

   RATING: R;

   CHARACTER(s): Willow Rosenberg; Tara Maclay;

   'SHIP(s): Willow/Tara (willtara);

   SUMMARY: Tara introduces Willow to experiences she was not yet aware of.

   A/N: The original prompt was ~ Tara/Willow – Rimming ~ for drabbletag6 at femslash100 (sadly the comm does not seem to have been updated for some time), for which said prompter declared herself well pleased and made some very kind comments. Because it was most definitely outside my comfort zone it is stiil on of those of which I am proudest. Though erotic; rather than explicit, it is still very much a nerve-wracker to be putting out there again.
 

     Whatever Willow had expected from tonight, it wasn't this.

   Gasping at the magical chill, she sighed as it was replaced by a warm; probing, dampness which slowly set a musky; moist, warmth aflame within her.

   Minute at first; pressure built, curious; sensuous, teasing.

   Seeking for her key.

   Heat; mind fuzzy, a viscid wetness; intense, past even where she'd been before.

   Willow; brain sharply unfocussed, bit the crest of the wave into the pillow.

   Fingers; one wetter than the rest, stroked her back to lucidity.

   Tara raised her chin from where she was nuzzling Willow's ass.
 

   “Now the fun really starts.”

    kerk hiraeth