kerk_hiraeth: Me and Unidoggy Edinburgh Pride 2015 (Default)
 

    Hard to fathom that something like eighteen months ago I lived in world that was empty of Yun Sol & Seo Ji-wan and their magic. These two weren't even in the original source material the TV show was based on; were created especially for that and it really shows. Their story is so much more nuanced and lacking in melodrama; so much more real and fun and, as a result, they feel so much more real. Even the lead character works better as a character, and the acting is so much better when she's interracting with these two. 

  I began a soljiwan fic mid-December of 2021, and feel closer now than in more than a year to be able to finish it. 

  So much love for these characters. 

  As one reactor screamed, "The Lesbians in the writer's room. Doing God's Work!" 

  kerk 





 


  Sol x Jiwan | All The Things She Said 



 


  #soljiwan: Sorry for liking you 




 




 


  Sol ✘ Ji-wan ► I like me better ║Nevertheless 




   May the Goddess watch over you and those you love, 

   kerk 




kerk_hiraeth: Me and Unidoggy Edinburgh Pride 2015 (Default)
 

   TITLE: Kashmir ~ IV. Hurried Conversations Between Artistic Folks

   AUTHOR: kerk_hiraeth

   FANDOM: Nevertheless (Soljiwan);

   CHARACTER(s): Part Four ~ Seo Ji-wan, Yu Na-bi, Yun Sol, Kendra Lửa rồng (OC), Oh Bit-na;

   'SHIP(s): Yun Sol/Seo Ji-wan (Soljiwan), Yu Na-bi/Kendra Lửa rồng (OC) (NabiKen);

   LENGTH: 2,248;

   RATING: 15;

   SUMMARY: It is still the afternoon before the opening of Yun Sol's exhibition; taking place almost immediately after the previous chapter. Immediate euphoria over, after the delight of seeing their friend Yu Na-bi again, Seo Ji-wan & Yun Sol (mostly Ji-wan) are casting an eye over the person who seems to have transformed their beloved cupid, Na-bi.

   A/N: Took the laptop outside into some very cold weather, left the pencil behind, of course, which slowed it down some and I've had to take some very long sleeps; needed to anyway. My brain is still struggling to accept the amount of writing I've done for this, a which began with a simple idea of Sol & Ji-wan meeting Na-bi in; as it turned out, New York ~ no Bit-na; no Oc's, just them inviting her to attend the opening of Sol's first exhibition. 

           Have had some issues with the formatting with this one; not sure if I've fixed them, but will see when I post. 

           Now there are at least threads leading out from that, all interconnected. I love writing, even with the pains of not knowing if people are reading much of the time ~ I still love it. I thank the Goddess for Yun Sol & Seo Ji-wan, Yu Na-bi and Oh Bit-na; even coffee guy & Mr. Clueless, and I thank Her for helping me see Kendra and the other Ocs, and helping me to hear their voices.

 

     Ilju-il..?!

 

  Na-bi visibly blushed; radiating a desperate need for Ji-wan; just once, please to be quiet. She looked away; around the coffee bad, anywhere but directly at her.

  Ji-wan slyly winked at Sol, who kept; even for her, a stoic expression on her face, but she could see the creases at the corners of Sol's eyes deepen; filed away a note to kiss them later.

 

  It also had the blessing of disguising her fight to stop herself from giggling from Na-bi.

  She did keep half an eye on this new person in Na-bi's life; noting how they could not keep their eyes off her friend; how they touched Na-bi's hand, or reached out for it.

 

  She glanced at Sol again; saw the identical look on her face, she knew was on her own. They smiled, in unison; whispered to herself, “Blessed am I amongst women.” She could see the feint change in her expression and knew Yun Sol could tell what she was doing.

  She followed Sol in glancing at Kendra; could see those self-same looks passing between them and their friend. They both knew there was no point in expressing any doubts; Yu Na-bi was set on her path and a cloned army of their collective Mothers would be like paper trying to stop a forest fire.

 

  They did glance between Sol and herself occasionally; knew how intently they were being studied, but did not seem to be very much concerned with what they thought of them. It was obvious to Ji-wan; Sol too that Ken had fallen as fast and irrevocably for Na-bi, as she for them.

  They were pierced with the same arrow; bound for good or ill to the whims of the gods.

  They loved without reservation; that same look was in Yun Sol's eyes almost every moment they were conscious. After two years she had come to understand it had been on her lover's face since almost the day they had met.

 

  “She was looking at you the way your aba looked at me when he spoke to my parents about marrying me.We knew there was no stopping it, especially the way she made you so happy; so committed too. People always assume you never take life seriously but, where Yun Sol was concerned you could become an unquenchable flame.

 

  Ji-wan kept her mother's words in her mind always; wrote them into the bible her father had presented her with the only trip she made home alone before they both left home; knew was loved without reservation by her parents; Yun Sol's parents, and could never understand how she could ever have doubted Sol.

 

  That same look was in Kendra's eyes for Na-bi.

 

  Whatever else they felt the need to find out, seeing that look was enough for Ji-wan to trust her... no them...

  Sol quickly grasped her hand; pulling her back from the table as the tray laden with tea, one coffee and some exquisite looking, and Korean, pastries was placed carefully on the table. As Sol spoke, she leaned to her right and whispered in Na-bi's ear.

  “Bit-na has had a bad influence on you, “ delighting in seeing Na-bi's flustered confusion, as if she was a teenager again. It looked cute on her; Ji-wan grinned in self-deprecating self-awareness.

 

  It was so wonderful to see something of the Na-bi people had told them about; the woman she had been before Art School and so many disappointments in love had begun to grind her down.

  She had often found herself; cuddling with Sol, recalling the times Na-bi had listened patiently as she chattered away about Sol. They would share jokes about how they must have seemed to her.

  They both knew how much they owed her for doing her best to make sure; even while she was shattering, the two of them did not lose what both so clearly wanted.

  What she had seemed to have given up on the last time the three of them had spoken on the telephone; that was the day they arrived in Yorkshire from Spain. They had meant to be going to London, but she had so desperately wanted to see the moors so Yun Sol had made arrangements for the interviews she was supposed to be doing to happen up there. 

 

  And Sol had thanked her; they had had a wonderful day in the company of a former railway worker who had married a Korean woman back in the war. He was delighted too, so speak the language again, as their children had not kept it up. 

  They had talked about marriage and children, but both had; after several discussions, realized they would want to get married at home; wanted to wait for children until they could do so. She was still thinking about adoption though. 

  If they ever did get married, they both knew who was going to be the first one they told; even their families, and Bit-na, would take second place on that.

 

  Taking a cup of tea, which tasted surprisingly good, and a bite from a pastry Sol was holding up for her, they blushed as they realised the barista was smiling at the way they were gazing into each other's eyes.

  “Good?

  Seo Ji-wan, mouth full of delicious; silently resolving to thank the manager at the gallery who had recommended this place, just nodded.

  The barista handed Sol something, before asking, “How long?

  Sol looked quizzically at the card; then back up at the barista. She must have sensed the attention Ji-wan was suddenly paying her, because she smiled at Ji-wan and revealed a pin, covered by her collar, “Baby dyke,” she winked at Seo Ji-wan, which made her involuntarily giggle.

  After a couple of seconds she glanced at Sol; well gazed into her eyes really before tenderly reaching out her hand, "Dos años.” 





  
The barista nodded in appreciation, while Sol looked at her in momentary surprise; then held her hand tight, before kissing it and adding, “We have been together since we were...

 

Yeongwonhi,” a voice from the other side of the table said softly.

 

Ji-wan; Sol and the barista all turned to see Yu Na-bi raising her coffee in a toast; holding Kendra's hands in her free one; they had a strange smile on their face. Then they said to the barista, in a faraway tone; almost as if they were trying to recall a time when they had not known Na-bi, “She's saying they've been together forever.

Smiling, the girl gestured at the table as she said, “I hope I am as lucky as you one day... those are on me. 

 

  The barista nodded in appreciation, while Sol looked at her in momentary surprisel then held her hand tight, before kissing it and adding, “We have been together since we were...

 

  “Yeongwonhi,” a voice from the other side of the table said softly.

 

  Ji-wan; Sol and barista all turned to see Yu Na-bi raising her coffee in a toast; holding Kendra's hands in her free one.

  They had a strange smile on their face, then they said to the barista, in a faraway tone; almost as if they were trying to recall a time when they had not known Na-bi, “She's saying they've been together forever.

  Smiling, the girl gestured at the table as she said, “I hope I am lucky as you one day... 

   those are on me.” 

 

 

  Yun Sol made to get up and protest the generosity, but before anyone noticed Kendra's hand was on her arm; head shaking. Seo Ji-wan saw them for the first time in that moment; knew that they knew exactly how much the gesture meant from a girl working a job like this.

  Ji-wan could feel Sol's eyes on her; knew too the instant Sol turned her head to study the interaction between Na-bi and this tall, incredibly handsome person that had captured Na-bi so completely.

  But then, as Sol had whispered to her before they had come back inside the coffee bar, Kendra was as completely captured; the two of them constantly touching each other; almost as if neither could quite believe the other was real.

  Ji-wan had come to realise; once they had become a couple that she had always done that with Sol; even when they were still in middle school. Sol was watching her; that same strange smile her face Kendra had shown, when Ji-wan turned her head back to look at her.

 

  She felt a bit teary, though she was smiling; wondered how Sol had endured all those years of yearning; needing; seeking out even the slightest of contact with her.

  So afraid that what she had always wanted was not real; would never be real and true.

  In that moment, she wanted to take Sol back to the apartment they had been given the keys too by a sponsor of the museum that owned the gallery. She wanted to make love to Sol until neither could endure it any longer.

  She felt her face flush; felt it necessary to hide behind her cup of tea, and turn her face away.

  A hand on her shoulder; a familiar chin, and a finger slowly stroking her cheek.

  Ji-wan moved her free hand and held Sol's; gripping it without looking her, as the two of them watched the new lovers together, silently stroking each other's hands as they remembered those first few days as a couple; basking in the acceptance of their friends; especially the delight of Bit-na, and Na-bi's happiness at their happiness.

 

  “Since I first saw them, ” Na-bi was speaking; Ji-wan had to return to the present and ask them to repeat what they were saying.

  Sol whispered in Ji-wan's ear that she had just asked Kendra how long since they had first met.

  Na-bi had started explaining about seeing the performance ~

 

  “Five days, sixteen hours and seven minutes, ” Kendra repeated with a very subtle sort of smile; of the kind that Sol told her she loved to see on Jiwan's face when Sol had complimented her.

  “I think I was the one who said that, ” Na-bi laughed, which made her glance at Sol, who looked as surprised as she felt, to hear Na-bi laughing so freely.

 

  They both cared deeply about Na-bi; both of them felt they owed her so much.

  Then they turned as Na-bi spoke directly to them. It was all so sudden; unexpected and overwhelming. She reached over and took a hand of each in her own.

 

  “I know what you are both thinking... because we have both been thinking; worrying about the same thing. Whether it will last; whether it can last but, how can...

 

  Na-bi got that old wistful smile on her face, as Kendra began stroking her hands, as if she was calming her. Bit-na was the only one beside them that knew she had to deal with depression on occasion; Seo Ji-wan had only found out after they had become a couple, and then only because Na-bi told Yun Sol she should not be keeping secrets.

 

  ''But it's your secret?

  Na-bi had hugged her, and told her, “And now it needs to be shared with Seo Ji-wan, dangxineun jigeum mioc gazi.

 

  Ji-wan was conscious that she was stroking Sol's with a finger, almost as if she was calming her; became suddenly aware of the gesture and recalling how many times she had done it over the years.

  Turning she was also suddenly conscious of what Sol must have been through all the times when she been blithely going on blind dates and talking about boys she had no intention of seeing again.

  Sol had that strange smile on her face again.

 

  Then she looked over at Na-bi; aware that she was watching them, as if fully conscious of what was passing between them.

  Then Na-bi reached over and held Seo Ji-wan's hands in hers.

  She was telling Ji-wan they would be okay; that she would be okay.

 

  She was fascinated by how Na-bi could do that; turn her pain into concern for others.

  Fascinated too by how much her sculptor's hands had changed into those of a painter; Bit-na had mentioned in a call about thinking of getting Na-bi to go with her to Taiwan. There was going to be a retreat for artists from all over east Asia; teaching ancient techniques from cultures all over the pacific rim, though Na-bi had clearly been painting very recently since her cuticles still showed signs of the paint.

 

  “Do you remember Sol-ah; how I told you about the conversations I had with Ji-wan... not what we said, ” she added quickly, staring into Ji-wan's eyes.

 

  “I believe I understand now, because that I believe I am feeling the same now.

  Ji-wan saw Kendra glance down; they had to have talked about this.

  “I believe we are both feeling it but, we are old enough and intelligent enough,” she winked at Kendra.

 

  Na-bi winked!

  Ji-wan turned to look at Sol; caught her momentary surprise. She saw too the moment all of Sol's reservations fall away.

  Then Sol winked at her and Ji-wan was compelled, forgetting any concerns over showing their love too much in public, to lean across and kissed her on the lips.

 

  “My Sol,” she whispered, their lips still barely brushing.

  When they parted, Sol spoke for the first time in several minutes.

 

  “I have to get back to the gallery; we have to. I still have some decisions to make over a couple of the smaller pieces, and Seo Ji-wan has some photographs they have agreed to have placed with some of the pieces.

   Would you like a preview?

 

  Kendra grinned, as Sol added they should try call Bit-na so she could join them.

 

  As Ji-wan waited for the others to make their trips to the bathroom she sipped her tea, and ate a piece of her pastry. Staring out at the people passing each other on the pavement, she allowed herself a frown.

 

  “Where had Bit-na got to anyway?” 



    



      kerk hiraeth 
      (December 28th, Perth & Kinross, Scotland) 
 

kerk_hiraeth: Me and Unidoggy Edinburgh Pride 2015 (Default)
 

   TITLE: Kashmir ~ III. Suddenly Perfected Impulses

   AUTHOR: kerk_hiraeth 

   FANDOM: Nevertheless (Soljiwan);

   CHARACTER(s): Part Three ~ Kendra Lửa rồng (OC), Yu Na-bi, Seo Ji-wan, Yun Sol;

   'SHIP(s): Yu Na-bi/Kendra Lửa rồng (OC) (NabiKen); Yun Sol/Seo Ji-wan (Soljiwan);

   LENGTH: 1,612;

   RATING: R;

   SUMMARY: The day before Yun Sol's major exhibition, outside the coffee bar where Sol is spending some brief free time with Seo Ji-wan, their friend Na-bi is unwittingly close while enjoying the sensations of her new relationship in the brightness of a New York summer.

   A/N: I feel like I am discovering this story in real-time alongside the characters. I feel like I am experiencing emotions I buried a long time ago. How successfully I am disclosing all that I don't know, but it feels good, and warming, and not a little like magic. Waiting for the cold water of reality but, for now, I am feeling good.

 

     Ken stepped slowly closer to Na-bi; carefully assessing possible sight lines, almost reaching close enough to tap her on the shoulder when she whipped around, a twinkle in her eyes and a wicked smirk on her face.

 

  And a compact mirror in her hand. They stuck their tongue out in response to the same gesture from Na-bi.

 

  “Chepo Kendra, na jakeun yonga.

 

  Ken didn't get all of that, but they understood more of it than the y would've a week ago when they met.

  A week? Not even six whole days.

 

  Then Na-bi leant upward, and that beautiful mouth; framed by those delicate lips, kissed them on the nose; that broken nose that this siren seemed enamoured of; fascinated by.

  Always it was a kiss on their nose; then on their lips, before Ken would lift her off the ground so they could kiss Na-bi properly.

 

  Less than a week and they could barely imagine, let alone want to remember, a time when this cheonsa hionsang was not her life.

  That face, disappointments so well hidden, that drew her in ever deeper. Had her diving into depths unimaginably full of magical surprises; colours that filled a world full of previously unseen blues; deep blues and scream-bright yellows and oranges; rich life-affirming inks of reds and starkly contrasting purples, greens and turned white into shades of pale blues, silvers and creams; created glistening crystals from flat-seeming greys.

  A world that had been a simple sky-blue had become full of shadows and shifting images that would have dazzled even Van Gogh.

 

  They fantasised about lying nude in their home snows of Northern Ontario; if only for a few seconds.

  Imagined Na-bi describing the hues of white falling around, and slipping beneath them.

  Dreamed of calling out in answer to the cold ground, and even colder dark skies; speckling with tiny, glittering campfires.

 

  It was like inside the casting of a spell; not only the one they knew Na-bi had cast on them, but the one they could see in Na-bi's eyes.

  She heard laughter in her mind at that thought.

  They had never fallen into bed. Never had they been so completely naked before anyone. Never had they imagined anyone feeling the same way about them.

 

  Neither of them had even hesitated.

  Na-bi had walked into their heart and stolen it.

 

  Rehearsal was over from the moment Na-bi had pinned the errant shorts around their waist; touching their stomach, sweetly hesitant after the first, accidental touches.

  Ken had silently pulled a sweater from their gym bag, then allowed Na-bi; all in silence, to pull it down over their head, resisting the temptation to stroke Na-bi's hair. Quivered as she had tucked a tee-shirt into Ken's shorts; smoothed down the, very old; moth-eaten, sweater,

 

  They brushed their fingers over the brand new one Na-bi had bought them; glistening like a rainbow seen through microscopically thin paper.

 

  Ken had stroked Na-bi's hands, resting inside her own as if enclosed in a warm, already familiar blanket. Na-bi lifted them, looking into her eyes.

  Silently Kendra gave permission for Na-bi to stroke the only visible blemishes on the one cheek; the scar she got the same day her nose was broken.

  Na-bi freed a hand; moved it higher; paused staring into their eyes, waiting again for permission.

  They had moved their head so imperceptibly that only Na-bi could have seen the gesture. Slowly the hand stretched upward. Ken blinked again... and again... and again...

 

  “Yes, yes, yes... ne, đúng, shì de... oui, ja, ja, ja...

 

  That night, as they lay down next to each other; Na-bi had kissed their nose. Ken had never allowed anyone to do that before.

  Never been imagined so naked in front of anyone before.

  Never been so certain; so sure, that the unknown was so desirable a thing.

 

  To have another human hand; other than a medically trained individual, touch that always visible open wound, was nothing they could have prepared themselves for.

  Nobody since their mother had died had been allowed close enough to kiss her like that; a single tear so quickly caressed away, a touch so ephemeral they had barely sensed it.

 

  Kendra could not be certain how long they had spent touching each other's faces, testing in case the other were a dream; to be taken away if they woke, before they had begun making love.

 

  At some point Kendra had grasped each of Na-bi's hands in turn and kissed each perfect set of fingers before Na-bi; uncertain, fumbling; clearly never having done this with another woman, began to make love to them.

  They had never experienced a touch so gentle. As uncertain as she was; even though she had not the language, Na-bi seemed knew instinctively she was not making love with another woman.

  Confused as she had been by Kendra's lack of breasts, she was not hesitant to touch the rapidly fading scars; once they had given their permission. Na-bi had only seemed to slow down; hesitate at all she wanted to do this right.

 

  Not even Aiyana, who had gotten closer to them than anyone, had been welcomed so completely beneath the cloaks that invisibly protected Kendra.

  And Aiyana had been her lover, her only lover, for over three years.

  Na-bi could not have known the extent to which Ken had been more nervous née scared than she was. That Aiyana had been the only one who had ever touched her naked, newly truthful chest.

  They had loved but Kendra had known that they were saying goodbye they had made love.

 

  They had both been exploring territory that was barely formed; Ken still able to feel the weight of breasts she had never felt to be real; absurdly more real now they were finally gone and, Na-bi exploring sensations she probably hadn't even conceived of.

 

  Over breakfast, nude and looking out over the skyscape of Manhattan, Kendra pointing out where the towers had been; wiping away a child's remembered tears, blissfully enamoured by Na-bi's reaction.

  As they shared Pineapple juice, Na-bi has told them about Seo Ji-wan and how blessed Na-bi had felt to be a part of her and Yun Sol's love; they had smiled as Yun Sol's embarrassed reaction at realising Na-bi had known how they felt before they did; well Seo Ji-wan for certain.

  Sometime over the following days Na-bi had related Ji-wan's yearning, bubbling over as it grew; Yun Sol's was even more desperate to free itself. Kendra, eyes focussed on Na-bi's lips had reached out and placed two fingers on them; brought them back to their own and rested them their for a whole second.

 

  That smile.

  Na-bi's smile sliced through any uncertainty which might have remained in Ken's heart.

 

  “Ise nanen algoissda.” 

  Right now the need to physically restrain themselves from kissing Na-bi all over was powerful; whither they were in the middle of a busy New York thoroughfare.

  They wanted to grasp her hand; pull her all the way beyond the Arctic Circle; and make love in the snow under the lights of the Aurora Borealis.

  Then, wherever their joined imaginations were taking them ~ Kendra could see Na-bi being pulled back from a fantasy of her own ~ they were interrupted by a young woman; she looked about the same age as Na-bi, maybe a bit younger, and just as tiny from Kendra's perspective, who was physically dragging, or so it seemed, another very handsome, and confused woman by the hand.

 

  All the time Seo Ji-wan, as Ken quickly figured, was crying out; loud enough to drown out the nearby buskers, “NA-BI! NAAA-BII!

 

  Na-bi sighed; stroked Kendra's hand with a disarmingly wear smile, defeated in the strategy she and Bit-na had planned. Kendra could see in those eyes that Na-bi had almost forgotten why she was in New York; to surprise Yun Sol and this excited puppy of a woman at the exhibition opening the next day.

 

  She looked pleased to have been caught as Kendra had a few seconds before.

  Na-bi winked at them; gripped her hand apparently determined to leave no doubt in the minds of the two approaching women what Kendra and she meant to each other.

 

  Kendra suddenly realised she had not known she missed that sense of safety until that moment; had not felt it to be absent, but knew now it had been gone since she had been forced to accepted her mother was going to die.

 

  She let Na-bi lead her over to them and felt love wrapping itself around them, even from two people who had not known they existed before now.

 

  It was very strange.

  And very, very welcome.

 

  Then the buskers; who knew Kendra, and had seen them walking hands entwined the evening before as they had walked back to Na-bi's hotel from a meal at an African restaurant, went briefly silent; started in on some new music they clearly had not practised enough.

 

  The three young Koreans turned, delighted as they played; Kendra was told soon after, a lullaby all three of them clearly knew.

  Kendra had held a hand over their heart; gave a slight bow, returned by the latinx violinist. Na-bi had kissed her fingers and kissed Kendra's lips with them, Sol and Ji-wan turning themselves, just in time to witness the gesture.

 

  She felt an impulse to hug them and felt arms wrapped around her and felt an impulse to start kissing the smiling Na-bi as she started to hug Yun Sol and tell her all about this new person in her; their lives. 

  So perfect. 

  Ken had never felt so welcomed in their life.

 

     



   ps link - www.youtube.com/watch this is the Korean lullaby the buskers; imagining three or four; led by a violinist with a singer & other instument(alists), are doing a version of. 

    kerk hiraeth 
    (December 26th, Perth & Kinross) 



 

kerk_hiraeth: Me and Unidoggy Edinburgh Pride 2015 (Default)
 

    TITLE: Kashmir ~ II. Aspects and Expressions ~ Love Changes Everything 

    AUTHOR: kerk_hiraeth 

    FANDOM: Nevertheless (Soljiwan), 

    CHARACTER(s): Part Two ~ Yun Sol; Seo Ji-wan; Oh Bit-na,

    'SHIP(s): Yun Sol/Seo Ji-wan;

    LENGTH: 2,347;

    RATING: 13;

    SUMMARY: The day before her first major exhibition, Yun Sol is enjoying a few pleasant hours off in the company of her partner Seo Ji-wan but the ripples of Na-bi's adventure of the previous chapter are about to reach them too.

    A/N: This chapter has, I believe, become the longest story I have ever written, and committed to public view. This may explain why this story is taking so long as I was not aware of how much I had written.

            I have been enjoying writing this that much.

           It makes me love and appreciate even more the impact that the characters, and the story, of Yun Sol & Seo Ji-wan, as well as their friends, Yu Na-bi & Oh Bit-na have had on me since discovering them this summer.

 

     Sol took a moment to study herself; as she dried her hands, in the washroom mirror. The woman she had been would have thought her vain, or worse, a narcissist; then she smiled, trying to recall which was supposed to be worse.

  She laughed at herself; very softly, almost shyly, realising that she was not seeing something.

  The old tension was gone; a still strange contentment in its place.

  She turned her face, trying to see what Ji-wan saw when she wanted a photograph of her.

  She gave the mirror one of her 'serious' faces; could almost hear the frustrated tone of Ji-wan 'telling her off' for not taking it seriously, then giggled; blushing as she remembered what had followed.

 

  Would her friends even recognise her when they got back home?

  Then her hand was over her mouth; slowly removed as she realised it was just a boy arguing with his mother.

  She went back to looking at her face again.

  A gentler smile appeared; she could almost see Seo Ji-wan, wicked grin on her face, teasing her about hogging the mirror; making her go all shy in front of herself. 


  She hadn't spent this much time in front of a mirror since she'd practiced with make-up as a thirteen year old.

  Now she had to be reminded to carry some; shrugging she would always point out the studio would have a woman doing her make up; one in Germany had been a gay man, who had chatted delightfully, but endlessly, about the child he and his husband were expecting anytime.

  He was the only one who had even known who she was; asked for an autograph, having been in Seoul when her first piece had been shown.

  Sol had smiled, remembering it had been the first time she and Seo Ji-wan had been out in public as a couple.

  When she signed the picture for him and his husband she had to tell him, truthfully, that it had been not only the first autograph she had been asked for, but also why it was so special a memory for her.

  She had thought he was going to cry; privately she was certain he did ~ later.

  She knew she had cried, a few days afterwards.

 

  She was still getting used to how much freer she feel here; still felt so lucky all their friends had been so accepting.

  When they had seen the newspaper review of the exhibition they had hurriedly arranged a trip back home to speak to Seo Ji-wan's parents; quietly arranging to stay with her parents, just in case.

  They really had not the room, but had been aware of her feelings for Ji-wan, long before a very long phone call when they had got back from that retreat.

  Her own parents had moved to a smaller house after she had left home, but quickly made space for her and Ji-wan to share the same bed if they wanted to.

 

  That retreat that had changed everything for her and Seo Ji-wan.

 

  Sol still could not comprehend how she had been able to manage not bursting from the tears she had been holding in before that call home, but they had accepted the revelation that her sexuality was a reality without any hesitation.

  She had often wondered why, unlike other parents, they had never asked when she was going to bring a boy home for dinner.

  She smiled as she recalled she had also been crying by the time the call had ended, with laughter, at her appa's wicked, but typically sardonic tone, despite still feeling as if her heart was shattering.

 

  Now she felt as if she was floating back into the main area of the coffee bar; so badly did she need to see Ji-wan's face; stopping only when the wall began to open out.

  There she paused; leaning against the wall, leaving just enough room for passers by, and took the opportunity to enjoy watching Ji-wan; still feeling her face flush, even though anyone passing her would have no idea who, or why, she was staring into the open area.

 

  It reminded of when she used to watch Ji-wan; desperately hoping not to get caught, or maybe hoping she would. Only now she knew what her love's reaction would be.

  Sometimes she still yearned, but that cute way Ji-wan use to call out her name.

  She did still, occasionally, but they were always working, or trying not to disturb wildlife somewhere.

 

  She was just about able to hear Ji-wan's voice, as she was animatedly chatting to her parents on the phone, given by them as a gift just as they were leaving for the train station to venture on this long creative journey around the world.

  Everyone had been nervous since they were well aware Yun Sol was about to become famous at home; they were out as a couple, but not that many people knew of them, and that was about to change.

  Sol and Ji-wan would be, mostly, free of the gossip at homes, but not their families. No one had been remotely complaining, but everyone had been nervous about it all the same.

 

  Unconsciously she wiped a tear away recalling that first visit home after they had been outed, unwittingly it was true to say, by a very apologetic journalist.

  It had become a private joke, how embarrassed he had been.

  Yun Sol had been so proud of Seo Ji-wan that day; scared as she had been, had insisted they call the paper to make sure he didn't try to resign, or get fired.

  Sol had been well aware that her love had been genuinely terrified at how her parents would react, even though she had always complained they were in no way as conservative as Yun Sol imagined.

  Within a few minutes of stepping over the threshold of the new family home; Ji-wan had not seen it, until that day, their entire world changed beyond Sol's wildest dreams, and Ji-wan's faith had been confirmed and her fears dispelled.

 

  Watching Ji-wan delightedly telling her parents about all the sights they had seen since arrived in New York made Sol experience again her emotional reaction to Ji-wan's father explaining to them, but especially to her, that they had known for a very long time what Yun Sol's feeling for their daughter were; aware to that Ji-wan had returned those feelings.

 

  The only surprise, for them, had been how long it had taken for Ji-wan to realise it.

  They had their concerns, of course; no different than her own parents though.

 

  Standing before them in a manner Yun Sol had never expected to experience, they told the new couple something Ji-wan had not known herself.

  They said they had known exactly where Ji-wan's sudden interest in art, and especially Sculpture, had come from; also that they had not hesitated a moment to give her the money she needed, guessing exactly where it might lead.

  They did confess to still hoping that their daughter might meet a boy but, since they also admitted to being almost as proud of Sol as her own parents were it had felt a very slight one.

  But, when both had called her cha-nyŏ, Yun Sol had almost collapsed into the arms of Ji-wan and her mother, sobbing like a little child on her first day of school.

  It had seemed an age; still did but, in reality it had all been over in less than five minutes and she knew the experience would stay with her for the rest of her life.

 

  The last time they'd been home to Korea they had all been together; everyone knowing it could be a long time before they would be together.

  They had both been crying a little; all the way until they fell asleep on the plane for Frankfurt; neither wanting to confess how much they were going to miss their parents, especially now they had so much more love and respect for them.

 

  Yun Sol had never been one for constantly keeping in touch, but she knew that Ji-wan was updating her own parents as well. One time she had been faking sleep because Ji-wan was very quietly telling both families what they had been up to.

  Though not everything, she hoped.

  Opening her eyes again, the camera her parents had also given Seo Ji-wan swung into view. She pulled back, not wanting Ji-wan to see her just yet.

 

   ~~~

 

  At that moment, Yun Sol, if she had been paying any attention to her immediate surroundings, would have seen a young woman; about the same age, performing a very similar action.

  Of course she was hiding behind a huge coffee bowl, wearing a very new Stetson and very expensive looking sunglasses.

  She also had on an oversized, and white, Islanders Hockey jersey; at least one size too large.

  So, really, Yun Sol would have had to make a series of huge leaps of logic to recognize Oh Bit-na that afternoon; trying to hide from her two friends while looking very conspicuous.

  This was not, the kind of places sports fans usually frequented though, in her defence, Bit-na was not a sports fan, so her lack of stealth was forgivable. 
 

 

~~~

 


  Sol was able to see Ji-wan occasionally...

  Occasionally? She had to smile at that thought.

  Even when she was talking, Seo Ji-wan was glancing over to where she had last seen Sol; every five seconds, probably only able to resist running to see where Sol had got to because she was on the phone with her parents.

 

  From her hiding place Yun Sol was smiling; feeling like the glow of her love was would warm the spot she was leaning on for days, that smile became even wider when she saw Ji-wan quickly tell her parents she had to go.

  Seo Ji-wan had seen something so she was so excited by she had to get pictures, or die.

  Sol grinned as Ji-wan rushed to take the camera from its case; quickly checked the light and focus, before she began rapidly snapping away.

  Instinctively she glanced down; not that she needed to, knowing Ji-wan would be lost to the dark room at the gallery at some point.

 

  Sol knew she would have to endure endless interviews during the opening day of the exhibition, especially from the journalists from back home.

  There was, or so she had heard, a big name from England who was flying in from Taipei.

  She was to interview her for a major magazine; both of them actually, since Ji-wan had started to gain attention beyond being the partner of 'the most exciting sculptural talent to come out of Korea for many years'.

 

  Privately Sol thought that silly hyperbole, but it was also true that the attention had given her a freedom to pursue her art, Seo Ji-wan too, that she could not have enticipated so soon.

  When they finally got to California in a few months she knew there would be agreements to be signed with galleries all over East Asia; there was even talk of one in Shanghai.

  Sol thought that was more to do with the spreading news of their intention to buy a home in Taiwan, since they could not marry back home.

 

  It was somewhere they could be a couple without the incessant media attention likely in Korea and, maybe, they could get married.

  In actuality they had talked about it, and decided that, unless their parents really wanted them to, marriage could wait until they could do it home.

  That was a few years away though since their parents were all in very good health and looked likely to live for a very long time.

  Sol took a lot of confort in this, since it seemed to promise a lot ot time ahead in which she would be able love Seo Ji-wan.

 

  She came to sudden attention when Ji-wan almost dropped the camera; holding a hand to her mouth.

    Ji-wan almost fell out of the chair in her rush to get to Sol ~ her mischievous Girlfriend had known she was there the whole time!

 

When she did not immediately come running Seo Ji-wan cried out.

 

  “Yun SOL! It's Na-bi! I can see Na-bi!

 

  Sol lost count of the apologies that issued forth in her rush to reach Ji-wan who, gripping her arm so tightly in her excitement it hurt pointed out; almost incoherent, Na-bi standing in the summer heat in a, too big, purple leather jacket; shiny red shirt, and pale blue jeans.

  It was not so much the unlikely seeming clothes that shocked, but the fact that Yu Na-bi; beloved friend and cupid, but the freedom with which she was laughing that made Sol do a mental double take; she seemed so open and carefree.

  So very joyful.

  She almost said, out loud, “Na-bi?

 

  She could not recall Na-bi ever being so happy; she looked wonderful, especially when she put a glittering baseball cap back on her head; dark glasses on top of it, and pulled a compact out.

  Another oddity; Sol had seen Yu Na-bi do her make up but never in public, and then only the once; the morning after the three of them had shared the same room.

  She seemed so beautifully perfect always that Sol had just accepted her need for privacy as normality.

  Later she recalled wondering what could have happened to cause the change, so delightful to see, in her friend.

  It was so startlingly out of character for the woman they loved.

 

  Moments later Sol, with unexpected strength, was being dragged out the door of the coffee bar; money, camera and bags abandoned on their table.

  Yun Sol managed a brief, pleading glance at the young latinx barista who had been serving them, and grinned back at Sol, as if this was a scene she had witnessed many times before, and nodded to Sol as some kind of reassurance that it would all be there when they got back.

  Then Yun Sol was being dragged bodily forty metres down the street in the direction of the river, Seo Ji-wan calling Na-bi's name all the way.

 

     


  

     ps link ~ en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Firefly_(2015_film) La luciérnaga is a 2015 Colombian-American film. Written and directed by Ana Maria Hermida, it stars stars Carolina Guerra and Olga Segura. 


     kerk hiraeth 
     (December 26th, 2021. Perth & Kinross, Scotland) 






kerk_hiraeth: Me and Unidoggy Edinburgh Pride 2015 (Default)
 

     TITLE: Kashmir ~ I. Kinetic Transitions 

     AUTHOR: kerk_hiraeth 

     FANDOM: Nevertheless (Soljiwan); 

     CHARACTER(s): Part One ~ Yu Na-bi/Kendra Lửa rồng (OC);

     'SHIP(s): Na-bi/OC ~ Kendra (NabiKen);

     LENGTH: 1,374;

     RATING: 15;

     SUMMARY: Almost a week before Na-bi and Bit-na are due to surprise Sol and Ji-wan at the exhibition opening seismic changes occur in Na-bi's life.

     A/N: Looking for par'mach in all the wrong places is about to become a thing of the past for a former sculpter turned talented pottery designer, and painter of landscapes in oil & watercolours, Yu Na-bi.



        I – Kinetic Translations

     Yu Na-bi turned her head; looked back the way she had come.

  The insistent beat had started up again; clearly coming from one of the rehearsal rooms she had

passed; lost, searching for the bathoom facilities.

  What was the matter with her today?

  She could read the English letters easily enough; even if the script was a little ~ artistic; all reds; purples, fuchsia edged with a sea-blue green.

  Strangely cursive.

  But why was she getting so continually lost; Bit-na's directions had been clear enough.

 

  She vibrated; increasingly in sync with the pulse of the beat, until a swaying greying yellow movement caught her eye; a side passage she had somehow missed.

  She could see the door frame now, opening just enough to poke around the corner; allowing the sound within freedom.

 

  That beat drew her forward; seem to release her from her confusion so that she found herself turning and ~ she was taking simple, ordinary steps, but the silvery white glow of a clear deep blue-black moonlit night sky pulled at her in staccato; near gutteral conversation that only her feet responded to.

  As she turned the corner it felt as if she was falling ~ floating in synchronisation with it; her heartbeat, which she had been embarrassingly aware of since the previous evening, after walking past that stunningly tall; deep blue-black star-glitter'd performance artist into the theater; situated entirely on the other side of this the college's Arts complex.

 

  That handsome solo artist had captured captured her mind from the moment he had taken her hand; his statuesque, almost feminine beauty; the way the glitter shone like infinitesimally tiny campfires on those almost... stone black face with features as sharply defined as the tools made by ancient Humans.

  The palms of that hand as it held hers; that spoke of someone who worked with their hands; as she did. The roughness of those palms made her focus on how working with clay had begun to smooth; not soften her own hands.

  On how sculpture had become all fierce orange-red pain; how her paintings were all deep blue; black softened by specks of yellow-red; oranges and soft creamy pastel-white...

  She felt dizzy; confused for a moment, uncertain whether she was seeing the shapes her brush strokes formed, or her hand stroking those cheeks, seeking to find a way inside those deep, deep turquoise eyes with star-formed flecks of yellow and white-gold.

  As she reached for the door handle her vision tunnelled in on the miniscule flecks of paint that seemed permanently embedded in her cuticles. Temporarily embarrassed, she also began to focus on the rough textures that still seemed, defiantly, to define her approach to her art, attempting to tear down the joy of finding colours in the slightest, most unexpected of places.

  Seeing beauty in the subtle shading of bird feathers, in the subtle almost wave-like fur of a cat; the sunlit rainbow glistening of a raindrop in the sweat on the fur covering the dark brown-orange of a horse pulling a carriage in the dry sand-white heat of a New York summer.

 

  “Gae-sae-kki!

 

  The shock on her face when the expletive that seemed to greet Na-bi peering around the corner into the rehearsal room came not from the nakedness of the person comically attempting to prevent her far too large denim shorts from falling all the way to the floor; grip loosened by a shocked glance upward.

  Na-bi's gasp had been very loud.

  No, it came from the fact that the person staring back at her was the artist she had been so fascinated by at the theater as she seemed to call, as if a Siren to Na-bi odyssean sailor adrift on a deep clear green ocean.

  They did seem to be embarrassed, but not by their nakedness in front of a single stranger.

 

  Na-bi would laugh at her own thought, 'how could they be after spending nearly an hour in various degrees of nudity before an audience of nearly a hundred strangers'.

  Na-bi could never recall being shocked at the desire that rose in her; nor that she had missed; so entranced by the beauty of the artist on the stage; beating drums, slapping hands on their body; feet imitating a bird long lost to flight, so entranced that she had completely missed the scars that had nearly faded across their chest or the soft downy hair covering the very essence of femininity that glistened between their legs.

 

  Na-bi was very conscious that she must have resembled a koi trying to capture some air as she tried to form words; any words.

 

  Na-bi watched, held fast, the source of her confusion collect themselves; pulling the errant shorts up with one hand, and reaching for a dusty paint shirt with the other hand. She also found herself still conscious of that insistent beat that had brought her to this moment, making her quiver; powering movement in her legs and assisting the beat of her heart.

  Drawn forward she looked into the sea-green eyes; could see the motion of water flowing around the paths of her future.

 

  “I seem to have wet myself, ” they began to apologise as Na-bi came close; knelt on one knee and fastened the shorts around their waist.

  “The bucket... I... the washrooms are so... far...

  As she was glancing down at their hands; Na-bi found it impossible to tell which were hers; which were theirs, so intertwined in her mind were they.

 

  Metallic purple; becoming blue, a darker; glistening blue.

  Eyes gleaming; honey, gold, green; a clear coppery-green.

  Streaks; creamy, like the foam on a coffee; patterned through hair that seemed to flow like those on a sailor's jumper; razored patterns along one side gleaming with all the shades of a rainbow.

 

  Someone was speaking to her. From somewhere in Na-bi's brain an impulse fired and she

re-discovered the power of speech.

 

  “eo... jeo... joesonghabnida?

 

  A nose, broken at some time wrinkled. Teeth; jagged and a bit yellow from smoking revealed by a shining smile; lips, so pale, as if they had never known the colours of lipstick.

  They beckoned.

  Na-bi found herself smiling back, lips closed, but not pursed; amused, as if the person behind it was used to this.

  Na-bi's heart refused the lie, electrified her soul.

 

  White broke from the shadows. Pink glowed. Shields; polished bronze, fell as a hand grasped her, and they shook; Na-bi shook, vibrating to a sound she had not heard since, it felt, forever ago.

  Pale, bright; sky-bright blue.

  She felt her head tilt; ears trying to capture that forgotten sound.

 

  She wasn't laughing out loud, but she could hear the crystal clear sound all the same. That face; that smile; those lips... those lips were moving.

 

  “Mian haeyo... I mean, what were you saying?”

 

  “I'm Ken... er I said my... Nae ileum... Je ileum-eun Kendra.

 

  Na-bi smiled; a cloudy day was broken by bright morning sun-bright small child falling in love with her first kitten smile.

 

  “Na-bi; Yu Na-bi.

 

  In time she would swear she could already here Seo Ji-wan's glittering laughter; see Yun Sol's glowing smile; Bit-na's face almost expressionless, smirk as she waited for the right moment to say what she really thought of Na-bi's silliness.

  The handsome god grinned, as Na-bi held their shorts up, so they could put their shirt on, then began a soft chuckling as Na-bi pulled a soft belt from her back; shakily using it to fix the wilful garment around the too slim waist so they would not fall again.

 

  Her future seemed to phase around her as Na-bi sensed pathways forming; changing direction and searching for places and sights and colours she had never contemplated.

 

  She already knew she was lost.

 

   ~

 

  She was just as lost when she woke up the next morning, and spent fifteen peaceful minutes

staring at the sleeping features of the person she had quite forgotten never knowing.

 

  “Ya.

 

  Kendra Lửa rồng sleepily; equally lost, awkwardly pulled her face close and kissed Na-bi.

 

  At that moment, Na-bi never wanted to wake up. A very tiny part of her still wondering if Bit-na had stopped waiting for her and left the cafeteria.

  But it had not awoken yet, and Na-bi was too awake to care.

  She had never felt so awake, or alive.

 

 

     I need to say here that I cannot express just how much I owe to [personal profile] elisi for all the support and advice she has given to me the past few years. I have written very little in terms of stories posted, but the help, with this story in particular, but in terms of encouragement an a listening ear; especially since the lockdown started, she has been about as invaluable as anyone could have possibly been. She has, in many ways, become surrogate family for me. 

    Buffy; Giles & Xander to my Tara ~ not Willow, because we aren't nearly that kind of close. 

    We have a different faith but, if the Goddess can put in a kind word of thanks for me I surely hope She is listening. 


      Two women facing each other, with the legend, ''Chemistry is you touching my mind and setting my body on fire''




 

       ps. Link # 1. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nevertheless_(TV_series) Nevertheless was based on a webtoon, which did not include the characters of Yun Sol & Seo Ji-wan, who were created for the television series. 
             Link # 2. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Perfect_Ending (image featured Rebecca (on the left), played by Barbara Niven and Paris, played by Jessica Clark from the movie, and was posted by the writer & director, Nicole Conn) 
             Link # 3. www.imdb.com/title/tt0961746/ Rome & Juliet, a movie from the Philippines, and written & directed by Connie Macatuno



    Kerk Hiraeth
    (December 24th, 2021, Perth & Kinross, Scotland) 


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